Farewell; from Austin

Hey, sorry to bring forth a somber post, as I was looking forward to finishing my MGSV post, but I won't be apart of the blog anymore for some personal reasons, I hope the blog really grows in size though! It's an amazing blog, I love you all, random readers. Loz is better at writing anyways. Goodbye.

Personal Life || The Day Before My New Chapter!

Oh yes, guys, oh yes. Tomorrow is what I consider to be a "big day" for me. I'm going to be joining community college. I don't like to say that, "joining", because other then an email of confirmation that we had to call to receive I am just really worried at this point that I'm going to turn up at 8:30am tomorrow morning like "Where do I go? Who are my teachers? Should I go to reception?" and then they'll say something along the lines of "Sorry but you're not in our records, you're in our reservation list for Level 2..."...I realize none of this is making sense without context, so let's start from there.

So, early last year (I want to say...December? Maybe November?), my careers adviser showed up during my free-time asking me what I would like to do when I left school and I said "Oh, I'd like to do Animal Care at college", the college about a mile and a half away from me and she was like "Oh, sure, let me just call them up and see what we can do and I'll get back to you". I'm not sure how long has passed, but I know it was a few months away at this point from leaving school and I had yet to hear back from her about the signing up. I took it in my own hands because someone...I don't know who, but someone came up to me and said "Have you heard back from her or do you have to do it online?" and I didn't even think about that. Of course, as soon as I got onto a laptop, I signed up for Animal Care. 

I received a call pretty quick afterwards asking about an interview, so I forwarded the number to my mum (if you haven't guessed at this point, I have social anxiety) who called them a few times and eventually an interview had been set up. Originally, we were going to go for Level 2 Animal Care which had no available spaces so I would be in the reservation list in case anyone dropped out or whatever (which never happened, as an FYI). Then they said there was still available spaces for Level 1 and it would be best if I joined that one instead, and it was unclear to me what was happening because they were talking amongst themselves and then afterwards one of the ladies who was there said "Yes, you're definitely in" which I'm still not taking to heart incase there was a lack of communication or something and I haven't actually been accepted.

A few weeks (maybe?) later, I got nervous because I hadn't heard a single thing from them since and I got my mother to call the college and they said "Oh, we had you on the reservation for Level 2" (which I think is weird because I don't think I even applied for Level 2, so maybe the forms got in wrong or something) but then she said something like how their files were mixed up and sent me a confirmation on how I had been accepted into Level 1. 

That's basically (believe it or not) the short version as to why I am so nervous about tomorrow mostly and I'll let you know how it goes. I still don't know what to wear or anything, I am so nervous. I'm going to fold up tomorrow's clothes, get my bag ready, have a nice bath so I smell great and try not to dwell too much. The walk is a mile and a half there, I have half an hour of time to think about everything. During my high school years, which I will talk about in more detail for a later post, I've always had a strong support system from the autism centre but now it's like I've lost my footing in the dark and if I fall, I can't be sure there's someone there to help me stay upright, this whole situation is putting me on edge.

Anyway, thank you for reading, I'm sorry I'm not spending much time on blogging or photos or anything like that, I will try harder I promise, just...my whole summer as been leading up to this, tomorrow is the day. THE. DAY.

*sighs* goodness.
See you tomorrow! 

Top Five Wednesday: Female Inspirations || YouTube.

Since August (posting pretty much everyday), the writing drive has been a bit knocked out of me and I feel like now that I write fewer posts they should be much better quality because I have more time to think of ideas and work on them and the pressure has been off-putting, I'm sorry about that. I hope this blog is improving my writing skills, but...it takes time. 

Enough rambling, today I wanted to at least try to write a Top Five Wednesday (if it publishes, I succeeded!) on something I want to go in more detail about in future posts but I am going to briefly touch on it today and that is my female inspirations. I have a lot of female inspirations, I strongly believe in women-to-women love instead of being jealous of one another and bringing each other down. This is no particular order. 

One || Saphira Howell. 

Saphira is a 17-year-old female still in school I believe from LA. She was formerly SaphiraFashion, but as since changed her channel name because it doesn't represent who she is anymore.

Why do I like her so much, I consider her to be one of my inspirations? Because she's very young and has a supreme amount of confidence is one reason. She knows she's pretty, she'll say "Yeah, I look good in this" and she has the confidence to put herself out there - like in her TEDx talk. She's real with what she talks about and doesn't pretend to be someone she's not for views.

She was nominated for the Shorty Awards I think earlier this year or later last year. There's a lot more about her that I feel like she needs to be looked up to for, but for that, go and visit her channel or wait until a later day when I make a full post on her! She's already taking up a lot of space here, I need to move on to four other female inspirations! 

Two || Emma Blackery. 

Her Channel

I love her for multiple reasons - she's a sassy feminist who can be absolutely hilarious without insulting anyone! She's an inspiration to me because she is proof that you can be funny without putting other people down, she's very real to her viewers and doesn't bullshit anything. She's adorable and works hard for what she does, she doesn't make excuses for herself, she's just an awesome person...I look up to her for being awesome, and for being herself (a common theme in this blog post!). 

Three || Beckie0. 

Her Channel

Again, she is my inspiration because of her brutal honesty to not only us but to herself. I won't talk too much about this, though, as what truly makes me look up to her is her amazing creativity. Her videos - mostly her older ones from a year or two ago, my personal favourites - really stand out in your mind. They're different, and have her own personality shooting through them, they're amazing. She also suffers with depression, I believe, but her biggest struggle is her battle with Trich and as someone who suffers a disability and two mental illnesses, it's a great source of motivation seeing her really making something of her life despite what is holding her back and I one day want to do the same. 

Four || Allaray Roo 

The Channel!

A much less known channel, but growing pretty fast (as she so deserves) is Allaray Roo, who actually hasn't to my knowledge done any videos on body-loving or anything majorly important like that, but she does stand out in my mind and she has inspired me multiple times to talk about the kinds of things she talks about in her videos. She's basically a story-teller of her very eventful and traumatic life, and the way she tells them is so hilarious, that I can't help but want to try and write some of my own (which I always lose the guts to post in the end!). Again, though, she is an inspiration to me because she always remains true to herself - she's wacky and I love that, she's so nice and friendly, I recommend checking out her channel!

Five || StacyPlays. 

Her Channel!

Okay, I know this wasn't meant to be in any order but I think this woman might be my favourite. I can't tell you how many times she has made me laugh hysterically on my darkest days! She is an inspiration to me because of how much she has achieved in her life, and how strongly she feels for saving dogs' lives! She's smart and witty and wonderful! She's a gamer, so slightly different from the women I have mentioned above, but nontheless she has inspired me to one day get a laptop or computer that will allow me to record and upload my own videos! 

There you have it, my top five female inspirations! Who are yours?! 

- Loz x 

Romance-Comedy || "Hens Reunited" by Lucy Diamond.

Basically, about three different women who were together at each others' hen parties years ago. There's Georgia, a heartless journalist who has given up on romance and now lives her life ruining other peoples'. There's Katie, a woman who had a bad marriage and has now given up on marriage - which causes her problems with her current boyfriend, Steve. And then, my personal favourite, Alice. A woman who was treated harshly by a woman she called a best friend, and ditched publicly by her husband when she was pregnant with her daughter, Iris. They have since gone their separate ways, and it's a book about claiming back lost friendship and to bud new romance. 

I think reading a fluffy, loosely-plotted romance novel directly after reading a hardcore science-fiction space battle written from an anti-hero's point of view was a bad idea and negatively affected my experience of this book. Which is a huge shame, because the previous books I have read by Lucy Diamond - "Over You" and "Sweet Temptation" - were a relief after reading hefty, mentally-draining books. That was, really, the reason it was picked up in the first place. It was like getting a nice, long sleep after running a marathon so you have the energy to do it all again tomorrow. 

Well, it's what I wanted, but didn't get.

I want to at least say the premise was interesting, but it's not. There isn't anything on the back that grabbed me. I picked it up purely because it was written by Lucy Diamond, and she has surprised me in her talent to get me hooked twice before. Not here. It just all seemed like filler. Like that horrible tasting stuff in the middle of a Victoria sponge that just ends up ruining the whole thing in the end. I was expecting some nice sub-plots, but there wasn't. What you see is what you get. It was all just a little bit boring. 

It didn't help that I had a strong dislike for Georgia. Same with most horrible characters, she had an unpleasant back story, but this weak attempt to pull at my heartstrings failed. She was vain, superficial, annoying, everything in a person I would usually try to avoid. 

One of the most important things in a book, I personally think, is writing characters you love. Or, at the very least, relate to or care about. The only person I really wanted to hear about was Alice, and because it was split in to three different perspectives from third person (my least favourite narrative), she hardly turned up. I don't think Diamonds' strong point is splitting up the point of views. I think she should just stick to the one person.

Not that this book is all bad - if you can believe it after this ramble - I still came out with a somewhat feeling of enjoyment and satisfaction. I would still recommend people to read it, it just was not my thing on a whole.

But wait, there's more. 

I almost forgot! There was one more point I wanted to bring up about this novel that really irritated me. 

The terrible love you feel nothing for. *spoilers* Alice spoke to Dom from our POV probably three or four times, most of which was not in a good light, and then suddenly they were loved up and a team. Katie refused to get married because she wasn't okay with it, causing Steve to ditch her for a week because apparently not wanting to be married just is not okay and she ended up proposing to him and getting pregnant after spending years saying that's not what she wanted. Georgia and Owen spoke literally once and the second time they spoke ended in a kiss and sex, and then they were loved up in a click of your fingers. I don't think love works like that *end of spoilers*

Phew, glad I could get that off my chest! Despite dedicating an entire review on her book to ranting, don't let that put you off her! She writes very light-hearted, wonderful reads with a touch on serious topics in each one of her books - I urge you to give at least one of them a try, 

Good-bye for now

- Loz x